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It is not the "same difference". Recently, Beauty and I went out to do a bit of grocery/household shopping. We frequently go as a family of four, and this day was no exception. My husband was taking Bear to the restroom, so Beauty and I shopped about. She sat in the cart as she usually does, holding and pilfering through the coupons and my shopping list, chatting up a storm. We paused in an aisle loaded with pajamas (Beauty's weakness--she loves to obtain/receive new pajamas!) and as we were hunting through the racks, a woman stopped beside us to compliment Beauty's, well, beauty. "What big eyes she has! And such long hair with cute hair bows! Is she Mexican?" I thanked her… [more]

I am very open about adoption's role in building my family. My husband and I married while I was pregnant, and he adopted Bear a few months after his birth. Beauty is adopted from Guatemala. Suffice to say, adoption is a big, beautiful part of my life. I've noticed that many people assume that both my children are adopted (which they are, by my husband). It doesn't bother me, but when the conversation of pregnancy versus adoption arises, many times I get hit with the infamous question: which is harder, pregnancy or adoption? Oh, boy. In short, you really can't compare the two; it's apples to oranges. While pregnancy has an approximate start-to-finish time; adoption usually… [more]

Recently, someone asked me the following question: "What do you even write about for the Guatemalan blog at AdoptionBlogs.com, seeing how Guatemala is closed for adoptions?" Well, if you've been reading so far, you know I write on a little bit of this and a little bit of that--my own experiences as a proud Guatemama and our journey to  Beauty, as well as anything related to Guatemala in general. I've mentioned in passing that I frequent Guatadopt, as it is one of my favorite sites on the web for current and breaking information regarding Guatemalan adoptions. A few days ago, Guatadopt linked to Guatemala 900 and my heart sank a bit reading the latest update. For… [more]

When Bear was born, my husband and I had one uniting focus: meeting  Bear's needs and keeping him happy while we were doing so. Our marriage grew stronger as we really learned the meaning of "team effort".  Sure, there were trying moments, but overall, we did everything as a joint endeavor. I don't mind boasting that my husband, who worked two jobs, never missed a single nighttime feeding when he was home. We were just like that; we easily fell into a seamless pattern. Our transition with Beauty's arrival, however, wasn't quite as smooth. Let me preface the rest by saying that it was in no way, shape, or form the fault of Beauty. She… [more]

Beauty was born in March 2007 and spent less than forty-eight hours with her first mom, M., before entering the care of her foster mother. M. was nineteen when Beauty was born; she worked long days to help support her aging parents. She was illiterate and had just over a year (total) of formal education. Beauty's birth father, F., denied involvement with M. We do not have contact with M. or F. Beauty's foster mother, R., cared for her for the first nine months of her life. (We do have contact with her, however.) Like most international adoptions, ours is a closed adoption with a distance of many miles separating our families. While we most definitely plan to visit Guatemala… [more]

As many of the regular readers know, my family is in the process of adopting a baby boy from Ethiopia. I don't write about it much here, because to be honest, there's really not too much to write about just yet. We're hot on the paper trail, which is good, but it is also a very quiet time. We are wrapping up our home study and have a fair clip knocked off our dossier already. This is a good thing. It's a very good thing, actually, but here's another confession: the holidays are sometimes a little hard when you're in wait. And here I am, in wait. Now don't get me wrong: Bear and Beauty make everything amazing… [more]

I've touched upon this topic in past blogs briefly, but it's definitely worth mentioning in a post of its own. Sometimes, the very process of getting started on your international adoption journey is very similar to riding a roller coaster. You're elated to take this first step, your heart is soaring with love and hope and possibility as you coast the hills effortlessly, seamlessly. But before long, you're back to the slow process of chugging to the top, trying to maintain a sense of optimism and avoid getting overwhelmed. At least, that was the case in my experience. It will surprise no one to read we were elated at the prospect of adopting a daughter from Guatemala. We… [more]

...the other climbs the proverbial walls for days until the plane lands at the designated airport. I can verify this. I've been there. Most people are shocked when they find out I did not travel to Guatemala, but the truth remains: I did not.  My husband works as a civil servant and the first year of any new job is considered "probation". That said, traveling wasn't really an feasible choice, since we were anticipating Beauty's homecoming to be somewhere within the last six months of this time frame. We had resigned ourselves to an option we didn't really want to choose: an escort from Guatemala to the United States. But all that changed when we found Beauty would be arriving… [more]

This will shock no one: stereotypes run rampant in adoption. "Birth mothers are promiscuous, young, poor, and uneducated." "Adoptive mothers are stuck up, rich, in it for the 'status symbol', and wildly desperate for a child." Do I even need to launch into a lecture on inclusive language? Or debunk the myth that all first and adoptive moms fit a single, respective mold? I didn't think so. Does it seem like first and adoptive moms are both able to face and receive a bad rap? Certainly. You can find best and worst case scenarios for any situation you can contemplate. For every person that has a great adoption experience to discuss, there's someone else with one that's not-so-great… [more]

Selecting a pediatrician can be quite the process. While pregnant with Bear, my husband and I completed at least four "meet and greets" in which we'd set up a informal, in-office meeting with a prospective pediatrician. During these visits, we'd discuss our parenting philosophies (attachment parenting), preventive wellness measures, the pediatrician's thoughts on vaccinations, and so forth. We selected a pediatrician we instantly adored and have been incredibly happy with her ever since. While it's great we found a pediatrician we truly like, one who is wonderful with both children and parents, we had an additional element to consider when we made the decision to adopt internationally. Would our beloved pediatrician understand the needs of an… [more]