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A little foresight can save you a lot of money sometimes. I think that concept is pretty true for most things, actually. In many ways, I feel I subscribe to this belief. I scour ads to compare big ticket items (as long as they're on sale, that is); I try to think of realistic value for every dollar spent. In adoption, I don't believe in the exact same principles. Sure, we compared agencies, but I didn't let the bottom dollar amount dictate our decision. Adoption can be, at times, quite costly. We wound up making a mistake in the process of adopting our third child that I'd like to share in hope that it will prevent others from doing the… [more]

Recently, someone asked me about the possibility of adopting a special needs child internationally. Being how international adoption and special needs are two issues near to my heart, I decided to do a little leg work and see what I could find. It goes without saying that there are many, many children born internationally with special needs who are looking for an adoptive family. A PAP could always check with his/her agency to see if any children with special needs are available for adoption, but beyond that, where should one turn for more information? Enter Reece's Rainbow: International Down Syndrome Orphan Ministry. Don't let the name mislead you; while there is a large focus on international children… [more]

By nature, I am a worrier. I do it all the time, even though most people who know me--even those who know me well--would never expect to hear such a declaration from my mouth. What do I worry about the most? In a nutshell? My kids. (But what mother doesn't worry, right?) I sometimes get a little carried away in my worries, but for the most part, I do a reasonably fair job of balancing them with the rest of my life. Well, at least I think it's reasonable, anyway. When we adopted Bella, we knew she was born with some special needs. Suffice to say, it's a whole new level of worry for yours truly. Don't get me wrong. Not all… [more]

I recently had a conversation with a good friend, someone I respect and appreciate very much. The long and short of it is that our conversation centered on motherhood--by means of either biology or adoption. While she's always been completely open to adoption and doesn't personally view it as "the absolute last resort", she did state that it is her belief that the true motherhood experience begins at conception. I disagreed, stomped my foot, and pouted. But a few hours later, I realized she was so right on. While pregnant with Bear, I felt every kick, every nudge, every stretch. I felt horrid for the first three months; I cried out of misery almost every night for two weeks prior to his birth… [more]

While not directly related to Guatemalan adoption issues, it's of note to mention that Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton visited (and subsequently addressed) the Guatemalan Embassy staff and their families on March 5, 2010, as released on the U.S. Department of State's website. Citing this as her third visit, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton states she was pleased to "meet not only with President Colom and officials of the Government of Guatemala, but also presidents, prime ministers, and other representatives of the countries in the region who came for this important meeting." She continues: I am well aware that Guatemala is a country with great potential, but also with one – one that… [more]

With the addition of a new baby to our clan, we've been discussing the implications of race in our family. When we decided to adopt again, our original plan was to adopt from Ethiopia. Seeing how Beauty's creamy skin tone is a stark contrast from her parents' paleness, we just assumed we'd be a family with a variety of beautiful skin tones. Bella could--for all intents and purposes--pass as our biological child. We would never claim this as truth, of course, but she is as pale as we are--fair skin and rosy cheeks, blue eyes just like my husband. Bear and Bella could easily pass as birth siblings. And so again, Beauty stands alone. I've often considered what we could do to… [more]

Part of Bella's diagnosis of Septo-Optic Dysplasia infringes upon her vision (read as: her optic nerves are very, very small, and it is believed that she can maybe see the difference in extreme change in light, but it is not certain at this time). We knew about Bella's diagnosis and visual impairment prior to our decision to adopt; however, even being as prepared as as we could be, there have been definite challenges along the way. Almost one month in as a family of five, I've clearly noticed the way Bella's visual impairment has touched our interactions with her. If your baby has a visual impairment, there are certain adjustments you can make right off the bat. For starters, we never… [more]

Up until this past November, Beauty had a speech therapist coming to the house each week to help her advance her language skills. It made a world of difference, but our move in late November derailed that progress a bit. Paperwork was lost, and information misguided. Beauty was "on the list" for a reevaluation, but missing all the past reports of her speech therapist seemed to keep pushing us back farther and farther. Last week, we were assigned to a new branch of Child and Family Connections (CFC) and we've already had a partial reevaluation, which I detailed a bit here. For whatever reason, though, they did not book us an evaluation with a physical therapist (scheduling… [more]

Bella is my only first-hand experience with open adoption, and I'd like to share some of my thoughts on my experiences thus far. When we agreed to enter an open adoption, the decision wasn't a difficult one in the least; however, we were venturing out to uncharted territory for our family.  I remain in very loose contact with Bear's birth father, and we have absolutely no contact with either of Beauty's birth parents in Guatemala. So what did I (do I, really) know about open adoption? In a few words? Not much. Sure, I know all I've read, all the accounts I've followed so closely throughout the years through blogs, books, and so on. I consider myself reasonably educated in the area… [more]

Today held two noteworthy events: 1. We went to court to start the process of legally adopting our youngest daughter, Bella. 2. I was taken aback for the first time by something that was said about Bella's special needs. Suffice to say, the latter soured a few moments of my day, but I did not allow it to take away from the happiness of the occasion. Court was...court. It was a happy (albeit hectic) event. Since this is our third "go round" with family court (where adoptions are concerned), we knew the drill pretty well. I only label the situation as hectic because we're still not incredibly adept at wrangling a three year old, a two year old, and a four month old. Overall, a great… [more]