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How do you explain in words something you treasure or covet? Like the pair of sweats that you have had for way too many years but never want to part from, the handkerchief that was once your Grandma’s that sits in a drawer. What about treasures of your children’s? You would think they would be simple items like their ‘best’ drawing ‘ever’ that they chose to save, their best Lego guy or their first blanket. You can sum them all up as irreplaceable to the owner, right? In our home we have one special treasure, it is a little book that ties together with a piece of string on the front and is red and blue. I can see it perfectly without even having it in front of me. The… [more]

I tend to hold onto letters that I receive from people in my life that hold a special spot. Birthday cards from my children and husband, letters from my Grandma from over the years as well as letters from the adoptive parents of my placed son, Will. They are treasures I don’t want to ever part with. If you are anything like me your heart fills with joy when you get a letter in the mail, the thought of someone thinking of you enough to send you a letter is a comforting feeling. I remember the day I received one particular letter in the mail, dated 12/30/06. It was from the adoptive parents and I couldn’t wait to read the latest of

When you think of the term 'open' you think of the ability to freely go in and out...like a restaurant displaying their sign 'open'. They don't attach any stipulations to that term such as you can only come in on my good days or you can only eat what I place in front of you...that wouldn't appear to be the 'open' we are all accustomed to. So when you say 'open adoption' does it mean that as a birth mother you can walk in and out of the life of the adoptive parents freely? OR does it mean that the adoptive parents can walk in and out of yours just the same? There seems to be no true definition across the board… [more]

We all carry around with us special dates in our mind, be it birthday's, anniversaries, adoption dates. On the flip side we also carry around with us dates that altered us forever, be it the day you chose to lovingly give your child up for adoption or the date you lost a loved one...whatever it may be they are permanently stored. For the longest time I was hung up on the 'difficult' dates, but as time has passed and wounds healed I learned to see the good in those 'difficult' dates. After giving up my son for adoption (hate the term giving up btw) that first year was difficult. I was hung up on the dates and special things that he was experiencing that… [more]

So often we get caught up in the titles we have been given in our life; best athlete, honor student, top performer...the list can and will go on. As we reach adulthood we strive for even more; Manager, Director, COO, CEO, Chairman. What is it about these titles that we strive to have? The feeling of importance? There is something common with all of those titles, they were GIVEN to you...what is a title you have GIVEN yourself? My titles: birth mother, wife, mommy, children's book author, friend. If you think about it, the titles you give yourself hold the most meaning...they will follow you beyond your athletic years, beyond your college studies, beyond your career and beyond your paycheck. Your title says a lot… [more]

I believe we are all guilty of rushing. Whether it be in the morning to work, at your job trying to accomplish all your tasks, at home with your spouse and children. Do we even know how to operate any other way? I am overly guilty of this and happen to see the repercussions of it daily. I tend to overlook the details sometimes because I am just trying to swiftly accomplish what is at hand and move on to the next ~ oh and of course juggle more than one thing. Last night is a prime example (my husband is sure to chuckle that I am using this). My boys have spent the week at football camp. This is our first experience putting the children… [more]

We have all heard the words before 'you are just like your mother' or 'you are your father's son'. When you hear those words said it is usually meant to be a compliment, right? Well, in my world it was quite the opposite, to hear 'you are turning out like your mother' meant I had done something terribly wrong...those words still send shooting pains to my stomach. So you can imagine that when I found out I was pregnant, out of wedlock, I anticipated those words rolling off the lips of my father. To my shock he didn't even mention it, in fact he didn't have much to say at all. Over the course of my pregnancy my father and step-mother seemed… [more]

It’s 6:45am and I wake suddenly to the sound of a motorcycle screaming past our bedroom window…WAIT…6:45am!!! I am late! You see, on a typical work day I am already loaded up with my morning cup of coffee, my purse, my husband and three year old chasing me out to my car to give me my morning well wishes and kisses good-bye. Today though, we somehow put a wrench in that routine and turned off the alarm and the kicker…its Board Meeting day for me. I throw myself together as quickly as I can and rush to seek my husband’s approval to assure me that I don’t look like I got ready in 15 minutes, grab my cup of coffee and race… [more]