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This is not a blog about children saying good-bye to birth families, foster families or adoptive families, although it easily could be. Instead, this is my good-bye. This will be my last blog. I am tired and do not feel that I can fully give you the quality of blogs that you deserve. Hopefully, someone can come in fresh and relay information that I am just too tired to. This does not mean that I am stepping out of things related to foster care and adoption. I continue to work for the Attachment & Trauma Network. I will advocate for children. I am Irish and German so I can get my dander up quickly and be quite stubborn. These are good… [more]

“99 Ways to Drive Your Child Sane” by Brita St.Clair is one of my favorite parenting books for kids with attachment issues. If you’re living with a child with attachment issues you will understand when I say that there are days when you just want to scream or pull your hair out. You are not sure if your child is insane, if you are, or both. You think there is no way you are going to make it through the day. You have had all you can take of the lying, stealing, destruction, food hoarding, or all of the above. 99 Ways takes a humorous look at a way to change things up and make you laugh, make your child laugh, or both… [more]

I ran across a very good article, or at least part of it, in the November/December 2007 issue of Fostering Families Today magazine. Part of the story is missing because I tore out another story about a friend and mailed it to her. The article is about the impact of a traumatized child on a family. We often talk about trauma’s impact on a child, but bringing that traumatized child into a family will have repercussions, no matter what the family dynamic is. This was a consideration in our family recently. Someone had asked me to do respite for a little girl very close in age to my own Hannah. I have been working with this family for several years and this little… [more]

This blog is not to “toot my own horn,” but instead to get you thinking about other ways that you can help children. I have talked about my friend, Bonnie, in other blogs. She is a former foster parent, a fellow Lay Academy classmate and is the director of a homeless shelter for women and children. Bonnie and I have shared many stories and tears about our kids and about the moms that we have dealt with both through foster care and now through her work at the shelter. Bonnie has worked in various aspects of social services through the years. She is a dedicated and passionate woman about her work. When you talk with her, you can see and feel the love she has for the… [more]

In my previous blog , I highlighted where presidential candidate, John McCain stands on certain issues related to adoption. In giving equal time to both candidates, the following is what I have been able to find on Senator Obama’s position on issues that adoptive parents may be interested in. These blogs are NOT intended to support either candidate at all, just to shed a little light on the subjects. It is not possible to compare and contrast Senator Obama’s views with Senator McCain’s views since the candidates’ websites do not address exactly the same issues. These blogs are not meant to be an endorsement of either candidate, but rather to shed some light on the issues that we as adoptive parents, or potential adoptive… [more]

If you’re anything like me, you’re ready for the political ads, phone calls, billboards and everything else to be over with. However, as adoptive parents or potential adoptive parents there are issues that we need answers on but are not the things that are usually discussed in political debates, nor are they the targets of all those political ads we have been hearing for months. This blog, and the following one will highlight what I have been able to find about each candidate on the issues important to us. These blogs are NOT intended to support either candidate at all, just to shed a little light on the subjects. I cannot completely compare and contrast the candidates’ views since their websites do not directly address exactly… [more]

You are getting ready to finalize on the adoption of your child, or maybe you have just finalized. Now you get the daunting task of changing your child’s name on all the various records. You may not realize how many things you have to change until you’re going through the process. In most cases in order to change your child’s name you will have to show the adoption decree at the very minimum. Some places may require you to show your child’s old birth certificate, the new birth certificate, guardianship papers (if applicable), social security card, or other forms of identification. Some will allow you to do make the changes by mail or phone. Others will require you to do it in person. Here… [more]

I cannot believe in the amount of time I have been blogging about foster care and adoption that I have not written about Dave Pelzer. If his name is not familiar to you, then his books probably are. He is the author of bestsellers “A Child Called It” and “The Lost Boy" along with four other titles. I had the privilege to hear Mr. Pelzer speak at the International Foster Care Organisation (no, that’s not spelled wrong) conference a few years ago. Initially he was supposed to speak the youth attending the conference, but attendance was lower than anticipated so we were all allowed to attend his speech. What I heard from him was amazing. This was a man who suffered horrific… [more]

Personally, I am ready for the presidential election to be over because I am sick of all the political mudslinging ads. One of my friends, Carol, asked me a question that I had not pondered and I did not know the answer. Can adults with developmental disabilities or delays vote? The simple answer is yes. My initial thought when I was asked this question was that shouldn’t be any reason why those with “disabilities” should not be allowed to vote. People with cognitive and developmental delays hold jobs, drive cars, manage bank accounts, and function in many other day to day activities, so why not be allowed to vote? There are reports of people who have voted while drunk or under the influence of… [more]

We are just starting two months of what can be a nightmare of parents of a child with sensory issues. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year’s are filled with sensory issues. Bright lights, sounds, textures, colors, busy stores, and many other things can cause your child with sensory issues to have meltdowns or struggle this time of year. There are holiday programs in schools and churches which can irritate a sensitive child’s ears. Wearing fancier clothing for parties, or costumes for Halloween can be a nightmare. Factor in all the candy, well meaning relatives, holiday music or screeching sounds can push your child over the edge and cause you to want to run for cover. How do you combat all of these and still manage to… [more]