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When AARP and Kindergarten Collided

October 4th, 2013

4600250860_f4f0b9a1ee_mThe thought of being eligible for AARP never freaked me out.  I've always enjoyed my age whatever it was.  Then, the day that my notice for eligibility arrived coincided with my daughter's kindergarten graduation.  Okay, maybe I didn't feel that great about it. Yes, I'm 50.  Yes, she's graduated from kindergarten shortly after the big day.  And no she's not my granddaughter. I was 43 when my daughter was born.  Growing up and living in rural Texas, I know many women who married young and had their first child before their 20th birthday.  Some of my best friends.  Young mothers - not older mothers - are the norm.  I am often asked if I'm her grandmother. When she was an infant, I liked to… [more]

The Questions People Ask: Question # 2

September 19th, 2013

4600250364_9cf4b5261e_qIn a recent post, I wrote about practicing answers to questions that people will ask about an adopted child.  I'm always surprised at the questions that people will ask in front of my child.  This series of posts is my attempt to give people creating a family through adoption the chance to think about what they'll say in advance so that they don't get mad or, like I often want to do, laugh in someone's face. "When did you get her?" is the question I'm most often asked about my daughter.  Then there's the next question. Question #2:  "Where did she come from?"  Or less politely phrased, "What is she?' She's a little girl who was born from my heart, not from my… [more]

Get Ready for the Questions People Ask: Question #1

September 12th, 2013
Categories: Personal Stories

baby 1If you're adopting a child, you should practice your answers to questions that people will ask.  Questions that people blurt out that I never thought about before I adopted.  Or maybe that I thought would be asked but more subtly or, at least, would not be asked in front of my child. Questions #1:  When did you get her? There's got to be a better way to phrase that but that's how people say it.  What they really mean is how old was she when she was placed for adoption?  It took me a while to realize that because my daughter is biracial and I'm white, people assume that she was adopted through the foster system or internationally.  I can't only guess… [more]

Parents are Parents, Not Adoptive Parents

September 5th, 2013

shirtI don't know if Rick and Teresa Kaepernick are mad but I'm mad for them.  They are the parents of San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick.  If you watch ESPN or almost any of the other sports outlets, you know that Colin is adopted.  You know this because every story about Colin that mentions his parents refer to them as his adoptive parents.  It's unnecessary.  They are his parents.  No adjective needed. Best known as an underrated high school player with only one college scholarship offer who, in his second year in the NFL, set the record for most rushing yards by a quarterback in a game before leading the 49ers to the Super Bowl.  As the spotlight shines brighter with Colin's… [more]

My Choice: Diverse Classes or Diverse Classmates

August 29th, 2013

classDuring my daughter's last year in preschool, the school's administration decided to start a private kindergarten.  If the first year of the new school was successful, they planned to add a grade a year each year as long as it was feasible, possibly up to eighth grade. I wouldn't have sought out a private school ordinarily.  I believe in public education and the impact it has on a community, the economy, and democracy as a whole.  But this seemed like such a good fit.  My daughter would begin school knowing her teacher and many of her classmates.  The class size would be small - only 12 students -  and there would be opportunities for unique learning experiences.  The down side though, she… [more]