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I've recently discovered a number of new adoption-related blogs. Not Quite Juno is a birthmother blog that I'd heard about and finally started reading. I recently read an older post of hers: Always On Our Best Behaviour, But Why?. Michelle, the blog's author, covers a lot of topics in this one post. Because I just did an entire series on adoption profiles, I thought Fate might have intervened when I randomly decided to read this post the other night. Michelle writes: What I have noticed in all of these profiles are some very similar themes.  Now, I don't know if there are "requirements or elements" that have to be satisfied in these, but they all feature pretty much the same things. Yes, all adoptive parents… [more]

As National Adoption Month comes to a close, I wonder how many people know about Heart Galleries. A Heart Gallery is "a traveling photographic and audio exhibit created to find forever families for children in foster care". Forty-six states and the District of Columbia operate Heart Galleries. Larger states have several galleries based on geographical location. Heart Galleries have been around for about eight years. I learned of the San Francisco Bay Area Heart Gallery almost three years agao from a friend of mine who hopes to pursue adoption in the future. In addition to the traveling exhibits, most of the Heart Galleries exist online. You can see photos of waiting children and learn a bit more about them… [more]

Happy Thanksgiving America! Last year, I did a traditional Thanksgiving post on the US Infant Adoption blog. Last year's Thanksgiving post here on the Hoping to Adopt blog was very different. This year, this post is somewhere in between. It's a little bit about what's not quite right, and a little bit about realizing that it could be worse. On the adoption front, we found ourselves taking two steps back for every one step forward. I had hoped we might be at least matched right now. Instead, we are without an agency and, though there appears to be one possible situation through a referral service we've signed on with, we haven't heard anything back regarding that. I am thankful that… [more]

One of my favorite adoption books is Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter, by Nelson Handel. One of the first things Handel does is explain that the term "birthmother", as used here, is incorrect. First, a woman is not a birthmother until she has placed her child for adoption. Until then, she is an expectant mother, just like any other pregnant woman. Second, the term "birthmother" does not include the biological father, who very well may be involved in choosing an adoptive family for his child. Handel gives some great advice. Do I agree with all of it? No. But I do agree with where Handel is coming from. He lays out ten Golden Rules, philosophies… [more]

Broadway and television star Taye Diggs is the producer of a new show on ABC. Matched will focus on adoption professionals in Los Angeles. According to Perez Hilton, the show "focuses on the lawyers, doctors, and caseworkers who make the process happen and how it takes its toll on their own lives". Reuters proclaims, "[the show] will examine how families are made and broken as the protagonists ... struggle to make dreams come true". That's about all the information available at this time. I will be telling my DVR to record this, whenever it appears. As a work of fiction, Matched will avoid the ethical problems that reality shows such as Family Makers encounter. When you're following an actual expectant mom and actual prospective adoptive parents, the participants can't… [more]

On November 20, 2010 thousands of parents and children will finalize adoptions. Created in 2000 by the Alliance for Children's Rights, National Adoption Day unites children from foster care with forever adoptive families. More than 30,000 children have been adopted from foster care on National Adoption Day since its inception. This year, over 300 events will be held nationwide. As Americans tend to do, we expanded National Adoption Day into National Adoption Month. We've also expanded the focus of these celebrations to include all adoption. Some people are unhappy about that. To a certain extent, I can see their point. While private and international adoptions should be celebrated, adopting from foster care needs more attention. I believe that adopting from foster care is totally misunderstood by most of the people… [more]

In a recent post, I stated that there are four ways to create an adoption profile scrapbook:

1. Create the profile out of paper, the old fashioned way.
2. Create the profile on the computer using some sort of software. (I use Memory Mixer.)
3. Create the profile on the computer using a photo web site, such as Snapfish or Shutterfly.
4. Say to heck with it and hire someone else to create your profile.

I’ve explained using paper, using software, and using a photo web site. Today, I’ll be talking about hiring a professional to create your profile.

In 2005, when I searched the web for "adoption profiles" all I… [more]

Last week, I shared what NOT to include in a "Dear Birthmother Letter". Today, I'm going to share what you should include. Some of these ideas come from the book Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter, by Nelson Handel. However, I'm going to write more about that book specifically in my next post. First thing's first - the greeting. I do not recommend using "Dear Birthmother" as the greeting. A woman isn't a birthmother until she places, after all. Books and articles recommend "Dear Friend", but when I read letters addressed to "Dear Friend" I immediately think "I'm not this person's friend. They don't even know me." I've always wanted to use "Salutations! That's my… [more]

At the blog Grown In My Heart, a birthmother blogs that "the fact is that ALL adoption is somewhere, someplace, somehow resting on a foundation of loss.  That’s not a cause to celebrate." There is loss in adoption. Adoptees lose their biological families. Birth parents lose their placed children. Adoptive parents may lose the hope of or chance to (or whatever you'd like to call it) parent a biological child. But looking at adoption as based on loss is looking at the glass and calling it half empty. You can look at adoption as being about what one gains. Most obviously, adoptive parents and adoptees gain a family. OK, yes, I've been sitting here for many minutes thinking of what the birth parents gain, and I can't think of anything… [more]

In a recent post, I stated that there are four ways to create an adoption profile scrapbook:

1. Create the profile out of paper, the old fashioned way.
2. Create the profile on the computer using some sort of software. (I use Memory Mixer.)
3. Create the profile on the computer using a photo web site, such as Snapfish or Shutterfly.
4. Say to heck with it and hire someone else to create your profile.