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Nothing ever seems to go just right or easy for my 15-year-old son with ADHD. He is smart, in fact he is very smart, at 15 he is a sophomore at the local community college. His younger brother is jealous of him, as many of the kids who know him are, because he is so smart. However, most do not realize how difficult life is for him. Everything seems to go wrong and for no reason. He has a good heart; he would do just about anything for anyone. Yet many people don’t like him. Adults think he is a know it all, rude, or disruptive. Other children think he is mean, too smart, or a troublemaker. Does having ADHD make everything go wrong? How many kids… [more]

I am two! Can you believe that it is already that time again? It is time to write our semi-annual Dear Birth Mom letter and update. The months seem to fly by unbelievably fast and it has already been six months since our last update. Our darling daughter has just turned two years old. It seems like just yesterday I was rushing to Texas to meet her for the first time. Now, she is the one rushing, in every direction at once most of the time. She has been transformed from an enchanting little baby to a beautiful little girl in two years. Dear Birth Mom, Now that Amigrace has turned two, it is obvious that she has inherited your tall, lean, and muscular build. At her… [more]

Talk is all over the Fetal Alcohol Support Groups at Yahoogroups about the positive effects of Choline on the brain. It is especially powerful on the developing brain. The researchers say that when taking during pregnancy it builds an excess memory capacity that seems to endure throughout life. As far as its effects on the older child and adult brain, they say it seems to have the most effect on those tagged as slow learners. This led researcher to question whether the slow learning was actually the result of a Choline deficiency, which the supplement corrected. I don’t know about you, but I am definitely going to the health food store tomorrow to buy some Lecithin for my child with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome FAS. Why wouldn’t… [more]

When you adopt an older special needs child things don’t always go as wonderfully as you might have imagined before adopting or fostering. Before adopting or fostering an older child, you may daydream about cooking, playing, and just spending time together. You make hundreds of plans that you cannot wait to fulfill with your new child. Then your traumatized child arrives home. Your child is resistant to bonding because of past hurts and abuse. Your child tries to sabotage the placement rather than risk being rejected again. You find family heirlooms broken, feces painted on walls, and angry stares followed by foul or hurtful words instead of hugs and snuggles. During all of this chaos, the child’s birthday arrives. You may not even feel like buying… [more]

Whether you have decided to homeschool your special needs child, utilize public, or private school, you will still need to teach your child. Special needs children require much more practice and reminders to learn than “normal” children do. They take more time to complete their work. They need more assistance than other children do. What that means to the parent is, homework help all evening, every evening. Sometimes it means your child will cry with frustration. You will still be teaching your special needs child long after other children have begun to run their own lives and families. We all know that special needs children can learn. It is just so much harder for them to grasp concepts and to retain the information. Teaching our special… [more]

My 14-year-old adopted daughter seems to be making huge efforts lately to do the exact opposite of whatever I say. She has even taken it to the ridiculous level of not doing things she wants to do that are good. For example, I went through the McDonalds drive thru the other day. As the employee handed me the drinks, I handed them back to the children. Most of them stood up and grabbed their drinks. Most stood up, except for my 14-year-old daughter of course. She refused to take off her seatbelt and stand up and she was in the second to the last bench seat in our 15-passenger van. Therefore, I sat her drink and her meal on the floor of the van between the… [more]

I have blogged before about my genius son who has ADHD. He has been homeschooled since the very beginning for many reasons. Had he attended public school, I am sure he would have spent a majority of his day in the principal’s office. He cannot sit still to save his life and is constantly fidgeting. Some days he can complete a month’s worth of work and some days he cannot concentrate at all. We knew we were in trouble when he turned two and we had to put poison control’s 1-800 number on our speed dial. When he turned 13, he began trying to convince me with various impressive arguments that he no longer needed to take Language Arts. We knew that he had genius potential… [more]

When you have a child with special needs who attends public school, you usually negotiate an IEP for your student with the school. The IEP, Individual Education Plan, outlines the special services your child will receive during the school year. For example, some children go to another class for reading, math, and spelling. Some children receive speech therapy, occupational therapy, or physical therapy during the school day. Some children even have a one-on-one aid who goes through the school day helping a single student. There are children who have so much difficulty with typical education that the school focuses more on teaching these students life skills. Special education students require additional assistance from teachers and support staff to be successful in school. They may also require… [more]

There are special clinics that a parent can take an adopted or foster child to for a Fetal Alcohol evaluation. It takes at least all day and sometimes more than one day for a complete evaluation. This very thorough investigation may include brain images as well as physical and developmental evaluations. The results should conclude whether your child was subjected to alcohol exposure during those critical forming months in the uterus. Many people who have adopted older children have their children evaluated at these clinics. However, I have to wonder, once your child starts school does it really matter how the LD began or what caused it? Once your child has a learning disability (LD) the public school offers services. These services may include special… [more]

Struggling with controlling impulses seems to be a common problem among traumatized children. It doesn’t seem to matter whether that trauma was in utero from drug or alcohol exposure, or inflicted during early life. Our adopted children, with a trauma history, FAS, or RAD, seem to all have struggles with impulse control. Sometimes, it seems like the behavior was intentional. I have often asked my 11-year-old recently adopted daughter if she thought about the consequences of her actions. I have also asked if she would want another person to treat her or her property the same way. She always tells me that she doesn’t think about the consequences of her actions until she is finished. It is only then, that she realizes that she should… [more]