Love Thursday

In four days, we will celebrate 2 years of “The Littles” – our 3 youngest – coming to live in our house. In many ways, it seems as like a very, very long time and in others, it seems like yesterday.

This little guy, whom we call “The Captain”  was just shy of 3 years old when they came.  He was not speaking at all back then, save three things from “Dora the Explorer.”  He grunted and cried to communicate.  He’s not speaking at age-level now, but last night, he asked a question in a perfectly executed  7-word sentence.  That’s huge.

Of the three, he has been the most challenging, no doubt because he’s had the most loss.  We were his sixth move.  Sixth. So let me go back to the part where I said he wasn’t even three yet.  It breaks my heart to think of it.

He has attachment disorder, obviously.  It took several months for him to show signs of attachment to me.  Given all he’s been through, it hasn’t been that hard, really.  He used to have long and severe tantrums lasting 40 minutes or more.  Now he might wail out a single note, but then he can calm himself.  He is still very rigid and unhappy about changes in schedule or routine, but he can get through them now.  He was a very serious boy at first, but he smiles readily and laughs heartily now.  He is very loving, but a little reticent still about too much physical contact.

Can you tell from this photo that he is looking right in my eyes?  This is natural to him now, but it was very, very foreign when he first arrived.  He had his head down most of the time; he was fearful of eye contact.  Now I see those beautiful brown eyes all the time!

We called him “The Captain” when they  first arrived because he busied himself shepherding his two younger siblings around.  He really likes to take charge. I think that is a function both of being the oldest (of his group) and attachment disorder.  Life feels safer when you have the illusion of being in control.  I think he’s more of a “First Mate,” now.  Maybe I should change his nickname.  He is ever more willing to partner with me in helping the little ones; he is slowly coming to accept that we are the adults.

I love my “First Mate” so much. I can’t imagine our life without him!

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So I have seen on quite a few blogs that people are posting pictures and telling stories every Thursday. What a great idea for a post and I love sharing my pictures.I thought I would share a picture & tell you the story that goes with it, and I will attempt to do this every Thursday. We were in a teeny, tiny hotel room in Kemerovo Siberia with our new daughter while we waited for permission to go home. It’s so hard to describe how little our room was.

We had very little breathing room and I would walk Livi up & down the halls in her stroller or let her attempt to walk herself to stretch her legs. It was freezing outside and you could not be outdoors very long, it almost was not worth the effort of bundling her up just to stay outside for three minutes. She did it though just to get fresh air.

I had purchased this baby picture album for Livi prior to meeting her, it’s a baby photo album I filled it with pictures of my husband and I, our home, cat, her room and grandparents. We looked at this book together when we first met, and I left this album with her between trips… and I do think that she was allowed to play with it and look at it as her name written in ink in Russian was worn off when we went back a month later to pick her up.

We sat in that tiny room and looked at all the pictures over & over, she would point and I would say Dom-house, cat- koshka, Grandma- babushka, and so on. I would repeat the words in English & Russian. To this day she still loves this book and now she can name all the familiar faces. Every time I pick up the album when cleaning up her toys it makes me smile, It reminds me of that little girl I met seven months ago and how far she has come.

Picture: Looking at a Book about kemerovo in our Kemerovo hotel room 3/06 – I was not able to post a similar picture of Livi & I looking at her baby photo album.

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